Humans are social creatures, and recent explosive advances in social technology (Facebook, Twitter, etc…) have proven that most of our days are spent interacting with each other, sharing thoughts and experiences, and exploring the lives of our neighbors, friends, and family. This is inherently not a bad thing. Socializing and connecting with others is very important. Where would we be as a society without collaboration and cooperation? There is another aspect of the human experience though, that we rarely talk about, and is sometimes a taboo subject – the simple act of being alone.
Some people yearn for it, others fear it, and society (unfortunately) unfairly labels people who spend a great deal of time alone as social outcasts, mentally defective, and even dangerous. Recent gun violence and shootings in America have certainly placed a lot of attention on the idea that the ideal suspect for a mass shooting is a “quiet loner”. This does not hold much water for me, and I have not seen much evidence to support the idea that there is a connection between introversion and violence. In many spiritual practices, isolating oneself is a means to achieve balance, tranquility, and inner peace. Of course, some people do commit violence in the name of religion, but those people are usually quite extreme and unreasonable in their views of the world.
Meditation is one way to tune out the static and bustle of the outside world, and also to focus on making your mind more serene. Going on long walks in the woods or in a park is usually a blissful and refreshing experience for many. You can learn a great deal about yourself and what you really want in this life by simply taking a short break for your own sanity and wellbeing. I think in our fast-paced modern world, many people overcommit and give too much of their energy and time away to others, draining themselves in the process. This, in the end, is not good for everyone, and should be counteracted with emphasizing the benefits of self-care and “alone” time.
We often offer people opportunities to get away and strike out on their own as a "right of passage" - either a long journey into the wilderness or taking up an exotic position of employment in unfamiliar lands. Both of these options seem like I good idea for us, and I encourage everyone to broaden their horizons and try to travel or work someplace they have never been before.
Of course, I agree that there are some dangers to isolating one’s self. For people suffering from severe clinical depression, withdrawing from socializing can be a fatal step, and some people can lose trust from those they care about by refusing to participate in activities within their chosen group. Also, sometimes being alone decreases one's physical safety. There seems to be, like with most things, a fine balancing act to the art of solitude.
What I am discussing here is one's personal wellbeing. I am definitely not trying to sabotage anyone's interpersonal relationships (For that is not what I would ever ever want for myself). Friends, family, and intimate relationships are the most important things in life. They are all we really have at the end of the day. The purpose of this post is just to emphasize the benefits of focusing one step closer on the individual - your self.
Winter is about to end, and the insulating effects of the season are fading. Many people feel isolated during Winter. We can feel very alone during the short days and long nights. We ruminate over past regrets and worry about current situations. This, coupled with the cold weather can be oppressive. The only option seems to be to press on, accept everything as it is, and learn to deal with periods where we are alone and maybe uncomfortable. The more you practice being alone, the easier it is. I believe it can be a positive move for us to do so.
For me, decompressing at night and going for a walk sometime in the evening seems to do just fine. I have also practiced meditation for a while, but have cut down on it recently because I am not confident I know how to do it properly. Maybe if I find an instructor, I will start the practice back up. (I do not recommend practicing intensive meditation without proper instruction). Also, I find plenty of solace in taking photographs and writing, which, even though you often collaborate with peers and colleagues, can be solitary work.
Solitude can be bliss. It can be frightening for some, and it can be challenging to find time for it in our fast-paced, highly connected modern world. I encourage everyone, however, to find some time for themselves to understand how they “tick”; to feel at peace and content with what is, and confident and satisfied with themselves as a person.
What I am discussing here is one's personal wellbeing. I am definitely not trying to sabotage anyone's interpersonal relationships (For that is not what I would ever ever want for myself). Friends, family, and intimate relationships are the most important things in life. They are all we really have at the end of the day. The purpose of this post is just to emphasize the benefits of focusing one step closer on the individual - your self.
Winter is about to end, and the insulating effects of the season are fading. Many people feel isolated during Winter. We can feel very alone during the short days and long nights. We ruminate over past regrets and worry about current situations. This, coupled with the cold weather can be oppressive. The only option seems to be to press on, accept everything as it is, and learn to deal with periods where we are alone and maybe uncomfortable. The more you practice being alone, the easier it is. I believe it can be a positive move for us to do so.
For me, decompressing at night and going for a walk sometime in the evening seems to do just fine. I have also practiced meditation for a while, but have cut down on it recently because I am not confident I know how to do it properly. Maybe if I find an instructor, I will start the practice back up. (I do not recommend practicing intensive meditation without proper instruction). Also, I find plenty of solace in taking photographs and writing, which, even though you often collaborate with peers and colleagues, can be solitary work.
Solitude can be bliss. It can be frightening for some, and it can be challenging to find time for it in our fast-paced, highly connected modern world. I encourage everyone, however, to find some time for themselves to understand how they “tick”; to feel at peace and content with what is, and confident and satisfied with themselves as a person.
Another follow-up. I think I mentioned this in the post already, but I'm not suggesting that people isolate themselves or be anti-social. By all means, please socialize, engage, and connect. I'm simply suggesting that it is beneficial to set aside time for yourself, be introspective, and really focus on who you want to be. I think introverts will benefit from this mostly, but I believe everyone deserves some time for themselves. (Also, I am not yet a parent, which I'm sure complicates things exponentially. In which case, maybe disregard this post entirely?)
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